Seek first…

“Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God – the rest will be given.” – Mother Theresa

Too often I find myself caught up in the worries, concerns, and stresses of every day life. I found myself even more so throughout this past holiday season. Struggling with health concerns and as a result not able to work as often as I would have liked or needed to which then resulted in not enough finances to meet bills and basic necessities.
Sometimes God gives us strength and health to take care of things. Other times He allows us to be weak in order for us to rely on His strength and the strength of others. I too often find myself leaning on my own strength, trying to pull myself up by my own “bootstraps” so to speak. Yet when I lean on Jesus, trusting Him in ALL things, the strength of the Lord is often revealed in the strength of His body, the Church.
So I am humbled by not being the giver, but being the one given to. I am blessed by not being the one to lean on, but the one who needs others to lean on.
God is faithful even when I am weak, doubting, struggling, falling and getting up again & again. Because of the Lord’s mercies all my needs are met.
My family and friends are blessed not by what I give them in the way of material gifts, but they are blessed by my prayers, by my love, by just being me. So I will continue to raise my funds of love, understanding, care and by God’s grace His peace.
Thank you for allowing me to be honest, to be real, to be me.

Light in the Darkness

People often find the darkness inside an Orthodox church a bit disturbing. I have heard other Orthodox Christians mention various reasons as to why this is so: to help us focus, to distance ourselves from the distractions of the world and other reasons. To others it just seems to be a place of darkness and with the darkness it seems on the surface to be contrary to what we think it should. After all shouldn’t being in Church be a place of light?
As the Nativity fast is soon upon us, my thoughts were turning toward preparing my heart for the coming of the Nativity of our Lord God and Savior in the flesh. That wonderful time of year that is for Christians a time of reflecting and remembering the birth of Jesus – Christmas. The Nativity season doesn’t end “officially” in the church until Theophany also know as Epiphany. This season is known as the festival of lights.
As a child raised in a Lutheran Church, we, as a family looked forward to the Advent services and especially the Christmas Eve services. During each Advent service we would light one special candle on Sunday to again prepare our hearts. Then came the midnight Christmas Eve services which usually started around 11:00 in the evening and it would end on or a bit after midnight. During this service all the lights in the church were extinguished and then each of the Advent candles were lit with a special Scripture reading. Finally it came time to light the Christ candle. Upon the Christ candle being lit, the Pastor would take his own individual candle and light his candle from the Christ candle. The Pastor would then light one of the candles of one of the other members of the church, who in turn would pass the lighting on to another, until each one of us had our own individually lit candle. By the time everyone had their own candle lit, the room was no longer dark. We were no longer sitting or standing in darkness.
“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, upon them a light has shined.”  Isaiah 9:2, The Holy Bible, New King James Version
“Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people but the Lord will arise over you and His glory will be seen upon you. The Gentiles shall come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising.”  Isaiah 60:1-3, The Holy Bible, New King James Version
Jesus said of Himself that He was the Light of the World. The scriptures have numerous references to God and especially the God-man Jesus of being light and in Him is no darkness. As Christians we are exhorted to let the life of Christ, the light of Christ, shine out of our own hearts and lives.
We have many artistic renditions of the Nativity with some very common themes that illustrate the Nativity story in paintings, sculptures and in the Orthodox Church icons. It is the Nativity icon I find many expressions of darkness contrasting light. The cave in which Christ is born is pictured dark and out of the darkness the light of Christ is shining. It was dark in the sky until Angels appeared and lit up the sky. And let’s not forget the magnificent Star, the Magi from the east followed to where the baby Jesus lay.
In the services of the Orthodox Church there are many reminders to help teach us eternal truths. One of the reminders is a darkened church. There is light in the surroundings, but the lights are strategically placed in front of icons in the form of candles: in the memorial boxes and small oil lamps (lampadas). There is usually a big light such as a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. In the evening Vespers service the candles and lampadas are lit, but the overhead lighting is off, until a certain moment when we sing a song that begins with “O Gentle Light of the glorious…”
I am not an Orthodox “expert” by any means, so hear are my humble thoughts on these expressions of contrasting light and darkness. Jesus came into a dark world as the Light of the world. Each time a candle is lit in front of an icon we remember the particular saint or angel as one who has the light of Christ dwelling in them. The “halo” around various saints and angels reflects the glory of God shining from their faces and their lives.
So much more symbolism in the candles, the flames, oil burning in the lampadas, everything to remind us that although we are in a dark world, we have the light of Christ with us always. And just as the light from the Christ candle is One glorious light – it is still passed on person to person. So the next time you find yourself surrounded by darkness look for the light, perhaps bring a light to someone else in darkness. Where do we get this light? We receive the light from the Lord Jesus Christ himself who even the darkness, the darkness is light to Him.

Good book on differences between Orthodoxy and other faiths

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Are you an Orthodox Christian who wonders how to explain to your Baptist grandmother, your Buddhist neighbor, or the Jehovah s Witness at your door how your faith differs from theirs? Or are you a member of another faith who is curious what Orthodoxy is all about? This book will help you understand some of the differences.

Trials pass God through to me

“There is nothing-no circumstances, no trouble, no testing-that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has come past God and Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose.” Alan Redpath

This quote was found in a fiction book I was reading and it really struck me at how true this is. If I can only remember that all things in my life God works together for good and for a good purpose for me. Most often it is in the trials of life that I grow the most in character and into the person that God wants me to be.

Too often I see negative things come my way and I have negative thinking that goes along with it. In light of this being “Easter Monday” I am reminded that the darkness of the cross was actually a triumphant act and especially in light of the resurrection. I am always trying to put myself in the shoes of the followers of Christ on Good Friday and how they must have felt to see Perfect Love crucified – without the knowledge of the coming resurrection. I have experienced loss, grief and death, but I have the knowledge and the hope of resurrection.

If I can hold fast to the Faith, then I can get through my own little crosses in this life with the hope and joy of resurrection.

Christ is Risen! In Truth, indeed He is Risen!

The Gift of Time

 Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Fourth of July, the end of the summer and the beginning of another school year… time flies.  Time… the one gift we all have in common… the one thing we all have equal amounts given to us.  Time… we have all that we are going to ever get but something we never seem to have enough of.  The Word of God exhorts us to redeem the time.  We should be good stewards of all our resources especially our time.  Once we spend our time, it is gone forever.  We can not count on tomorrow.  It may never come.  We are to look to each day and make wise use of the time that God has now given us.
 As these thoughts come to mind, I am fully aware of how much time I waste every day, every hour, every moment.  How much time do I spend in prayer?  How much time do I spend in the Word?  How much time do I spend with those I love?  How much time do I spend in front of the television, play computer games, read the newspaper, or waste away.
I have been extremely discouraged lately, it seems I never have “enough time” to get all the things done that I want to do.  People just do not have “enough time” to give anymore.  The truth is, we do have “enough time”.  God has given us plenty of time.  He has given us all the time that we will ever need.  It comes down to priorities… do we use our time as God would have us?  Ouch!  Truth hurts!  Bottom line… we all have “enough time”.  It is how we choose to spend our time that shows us our hearts.

Mike in 1969 7 mos


The issue of time was brought very close to my heart.  My brother, Michael, was 26 years old and died in an accident in the mountains near Weaverville.  My brother, Michael and I were very, very close.  He had always struggled in his walk with the Lord.  The week before his death, he came through Redding from Sacramento to visit.  He was struggling again (here we go again, it seemed he was always struggling).  He was very confused about the direction he should take in his life.  He shared many personal, heart issues that, to my knowledge he had not shared with others.  We played games and talked.  Later, we listened to some of his favorite songs and then somehow the conversation turned to his reason for leaving Sacramento and why he was headed to Weaverville.  He told me he did not know what he was going to do, but he knew one thing, he was going to get away from everything and everyone that was hounding him and seek God in prayer for answers.
 The day before he died, he confessed his belief in the Lord Jesus Christ and he planned to go to church the next day.  He died less than 24 hours later. Michael’s time on earth ended.  Time, he did not know that he had so little time left — neither did I.
Mike and Kat 1994

Mike and me in 1994


Up to this time, I had not experienced the death of a loved one yet, let alone the death of someone so very close and dear to my heart.  With his death, God was a very real comfort to me.  The Lord rekindled my passion and fire for to live a pure life pleasing to Him and to reflect the light of Christ in me.  My deep passion and concern for lost or wandering souls deepened.  Death is a reminder that we do not always have tomorrow.  Death is a reminder that we need to always keep mindful to be faithful with the time we have and to redeem the time.  When I last hugged my brother and told him I loved him…  I did not know it was going to be the last time.  I almost made excuses.  His visit was unexpected.  I was busy and had other plans.  I thought, “I don’t have time.”  That day I felt God’s urgency that I needed to take the time for my brother.  Looking back, I am so glad I did.  I almost missed a very precious moment and memory.  I realize it was the Holy Spirit prompting me with the urgency and importance to drop all my plans.  How many times, have I missed the Spirit’s quiet calls?  I praise God that I did not miss that one.  I had a chance to comfort and encourage my brother, tell him I loved him no matter what, I had a chance to put my arms around him and hug him — for the last time.
 At the graveside services, the minister’s closing prayer had these words, “Thank you Lord for the gift of death”.  I though to myself how morbid.  He went on to say that the “gift of death” is a reminder to those of us who are alive that the time we have is a precious gift.  Death reminds us to say, “I love you” to those we love and not put it off to tomorrow, for we may not have tomorrow.  Death reminds us that “today is the day of salvation, now is the time”.  How many people do I get a chance to comfort, encourage, or simply share a smile or a hug?  How many times do I put off making a telephone call, or writing a letter, or saying those words of healing, hope and love to someone?  Help me Lord to be obedient to your gently leading.  Help me Lord, to take the time, to make the time, to redeem the time with everyone I meet.
(© August 1995 although first published in a local Christian newspaper, I have been reflecting on these thoughts again as April comes around once again. The month of my brother’s birthday. He would have been 42 years old and though “time” has eased some of the sharpness of the pain… I still find myself missing him, grieving him and I am once again reminded of the importance of family, friends and taking the time.)

Christmas Letter 2010

Recently I watched a YouTube video of people in a mall in the food court being treated to a “spontaneous” 100 voice choral performance of Handel’s Messiah. First you see people eating, carrying on conversation, going about everyday tasks of everyday life. Then the background music played on an electronic keyboard plays the introduction of the Messiah and one lone young woman stands up with cell phone in hand and begins to sing, followed by a young man, and then many others joining in. After the singing is finished and the applause dies away the choral members go back to “everyday living”. For those who haven’t seen it yet, here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE&feature=autofb
When I think about the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the parallels are obvious. For in the midst of everyday living and everyday tasks, heaven joins earth to impart a blessing of great joy. In the midst of crowds traveling, shopping, taxes, and labor, come Joseph and Mary into this turbulence. I don’t know about you, but when I think of the Christmas carol “Silent Night”, I often think that it probably wasn’t a very silent night on earthly terms, overflowing inn, cattle, sheep, donkeys, camels, and who knows what other animals were joining in the noise. Yet, imperceptibly a baby is born, not just any baby, not just any boy, but the incarnate God, the God-man, Jesus. Immanuel – God with us. Yes, God came down into the midst of our earthly everyday lives, dwelling, walking, and living among us. And for those of us who may be simple shepherds or maybe even a wise seeker, God is still waiting to impart to us joy, peace, hope, love and eternal salvation. I am sure there are hundreds of moments I have missed out on instances of “heaven touching earth”. Christmas is a wonderful time of year to reconnect with God and celebrate the Nativity of Christ, God reconciling man to himself and to one another. God provided his angels to the shepherds, a star to the wise men, a donkey and a manger to Joseph, Mary and the Christ child. God is ready to speak, to guide, to provide if I only keep my heart tuned into Heaven.
As I reflect over the past year I can see how God has spoken, guided and provided so faithfully and compassionately. Thankfully because of God’s mercy in spite of the times my heart was tuned in elsewhere on earthly concerns He still reached down and was with me.
This year I had the privilege of taking in at two different times a foster dog. Our first one was Beau Ty, an Australian Kelpie Heeler mix. Our second one was Kel, another Australian Kelpie. Both of these dogs needed training and fortunately they both were adopted into wonderful homes.
I had a number of “health issues” at the beginning of the year including the swine flu and a few upper respiratory infections. I also was bitten by a loose cat (in the middle of one of my puppy classes) and subsequently underwent a series of rabies vaccinations. Our two cats had to have teeth pulled and dental work. My dog, Dani Joy, underwent surgery for an abscessed infection that was probably caused by an embedded fox tail (last year she had a fox tail removed from an area nearby). My other dog, Patrick Ryan, continued to go downhill in his health and the weekend prior to Thanksgiving I had to say goodbye to my sweet boy. I finished my Animal Behavior College Dog Training course and graduated with honors. I left Petco the first part of October and am now working for Cari Bowe of Shasta Dog Training teaching dog classes and assisting in her board/train business.
Although I have gone through some trials, God has been faithful to see me through. I am thankful for many things… most importantly my family and my friends. I am blessed and I look hopeful to the new year, not because of my goals, or my plans but simply because Immanuel, God is with us. May you find joy, hope, peace, and love in Christ this season and every season.

Good King Wenceslaus – A Christmas Carol and Historical Christianity


The Holy Martyr Wenceslaus (Vatslav or Vyacheslav),
King of the Czechs
Commemorated September 28/October 11
Of all the ancient stories that surround Christmas, the tale about King Wenceslaus (spelled Vatslav or Vyacheslav) stands out. Though the carol was composed by noted songwriter and priest, John Mason Neale, the song is based on historical fact.
King Wenceslaus was a real member of European royalty, a ruler who daily touched his subjects with Christian kindness and charity. For many in the Dark Ages, this king was the role model for Christian leaders. Today, over a thousand years after his death, King Wenceslaus remains a role model for Christian people everywhere.
The son of Duke Borivoy (Bratislav) of Bohemia, Saint Wenceslaus had the good fortune to be raised by his grandmother, holy Martyr and Princess Ludmilla (commemorated September 16). Ludmilla was a devoted Christian woman who raised Prince Wenceslaus in deep piety, teaching her grandson the meaning of faith, hope, and charity. Wenceslaus took his grandmother’s lessons to heart, and in 920, when Duke Borivoy (Bratislav) was killed in battle, the youngster seemed ready to put what he had learned into action. At the age of eighteen, Saint Wenceslaus, just a few minutes older than Boleslaus, was made the leader of Bohemia.
In spite of his youthful age, he ruled wisely and justly and concerned himself much about the Christian enlightenment of the people. The holy prince was a widely educated man, and he studied in the Latin and Greek languages. Saint Wenceslaus was peace-loving. He built and embellished churches, and in Prague, the Czech capital, he raised up a magnificent church in the name of Saint Vitus, and he had respect for the clergy.
Envious nobles decided to murder the saint and, at first, to incite his mother against him, and later to urge his younger brother, Boleslav, to occupy the princely throne. As the young duke attempted to guide the troubled nation, his mother, Drahomira, and his brother, Boleslaus, instituted a pagan revolt. They assassinated Ludmilla as she prayed, then attempted to overthrow Saint Wenceslaus. The teen took charge, put down the rebellion, and in an act of Christian kindness, expelled his mother and brother rather than executing them. The tiny nation was amazed that the boy would react with such great mercy.
With the wisdom of Solomon, the young duke set up a nation built on true justice and mercy. He enacted laws in the manner he thought would best serve his Lord. As king, he labored in the Faith like the great ascetics, and strengthened the Christian Faith among his people. He was strict in ensuring that no innocent person suffer in the courts. In his zeal for the Christian Faith and in his love for his fellow man, Saint Wenceslaus purchased pagan children who were being sold as slaves, and immediately baptized them and raised them as Christians. He translated the Gospel of St. John into the Czech language, and transported the relics of St. Vitus and St. Ludmilla to Prague.
He even journeyed out into the country seeking insight as to what his people needed. When possible, he shared everything from firewood to meat with his subjects. He took pity on the poor and urged those blessed with wealth to reach out to the less fortunate. In large part due to Saint Wenceslaus’s example, a host of pagan peasants turned to Christianity. It was a revival unlike any had ever seen in the country.
When Saint Wenceslaus married and had a son, all of Bohemia celebrated. Peasants and powerful landlords sought the man out, offering their prayers for long life and happiness. With a smile on his face, the leader assured them that he was praying for their happiness as well. In the years that followed, the duke and his subjects continued to share both their prayers and their blessings with one another each day. Rarely had a leader been as universally revered as was Wenceslaus.
And Saint Wenceslaus loved Christmas. Centuries before gift giving became a part of the holiday tradition, the young leader embraced the joy of sharing his bounty with others. Inspired by a sincere spirit of compassion, each Christmas Eve the duke sought out the most needy of his subjects and visited them. With his pages at his side, Saint Wenceslaus brought food, firewood, and clothing. After greeting all in the household, the duke would continue to the next stop. Though often faced with harsh weather conditions, Saint Wenceslaus never postponed his rounds. Like a tenth century Saint Nicholas, the kindly young man made the night before Christmas special for scores of families. For many, a Christmas Eve visit from the duke was an answered prayer and a special reason to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Boleslav invited his brother to the dedication of a church, and then asked him to stay another day. In spite of the warnings of his servants, the holy prince Saint Wenceslaus refused to believe in a conspiracy and exposed his life to the will of God. On the following day, September 28, 935, when Saint Wenceslaus went to Matins, he was wickedly murdered at the doors of the church by his own brother and his brother’s servants. Falling to his knees on the church steps, the dying ruler looked up and whispered, “Brother, may God forgive you.” Then he died. His body was stabbed and discarded without burial.
The mother, hearing of the murder of her son, found and placed his body in a recently consecrated church at the princely court. They were not able to wash off the blood splashed on the church doors, but after three days it disappeared by itself.
Amazingly, when the young man realized what he had done, the new duke turned away from his colleagues and embraced the faith that had guided his brother’s life and rule. Though he had planned the revolt that had killed his twin, it was Boleslaus who sustained the memory of Saint Wenceslaus. After repenting of his sin, the murderer transferred the relics of Saint Wenceslaus to Prague, where they were placed in the church of St. Vitus, which the martyr himself had constructed (the transfer of the relics of Saint Wenceslaus is celebrated on March 4). The memory of Saint Wenceslaus has been honored from of old in the Orthodox Church. Thanks to the man who killed his brother, the Crown of Saint Wenceslaus became the symbol of the Czech nation. Saint Wenceslaus suffered in the year 935 and his relics repose in Prague.
The Christmas Carol “Good King Wenceslaus”
 Good King Wenceslaus looked out, on the Feast of Stephen,
When the snow lay round about, Deep and crisp and even;
Brightly shone the moon that night, Tho’ the frost was cruel,
When a poor man came in sight, Gath’ring winter fuel.
 
 “Hither, page, and stand by me, If thou know’st it, telling,
Yonder peasant, who is he? Where and what his dwelling?”
“Sire, he lives a good league hence, Underneath the mountain;
Right against the forest fence, By Saint Agnes’ fountain.”
 
“Bring me flesh, and bring me wine, Bring me pine logs hither:
Thou and I will see him dine, When we bear them thither.”
Page and monarch, forth they went, Forth they went together;
Thro’ the rude wind’s wild lament And the bitter weather.
 
“Sire, the night is darker now, And the wind blows stronger;
Fails my heart, I know not how, I can go no longer.”
“Mark my footsteps, good my page;  Tread thou in them boldly:
Thou shalt find the winter’s rage Freeze thy blood less coldly.”
 
In his master’s steps he trod Where the snow lay dinted;
Heat was in the very sod  Which the Saint had printed.
Therefore, Christian men, be sure, Wealth or rank possessing,
Ye who now will bless the poor,Shall yourselves find blessing.
 An Orthodox Hymn of Praise
 The Holy Martyr Wenceslaus, King of the Czechs
From a wicked mother, good fruit was born:
Saint Wenceslaus, who pleased God.
His wicked mother gave him only a body,
But his grandmother-light and faith and hope.
The glorious grandmother, pious Ludmilla,
Nurtured Wenceslaus ‘s soul.
As a white lily, Wenceslaus grew,
And adorned himself with innocence.
As the king reigned, the people rejoiced,
And with their king they honored God.
Yet the adversary of man never sleeps or dozes,
Laying sinful snares for every soul,
And he incited Boleslav against Wenceslaus.
“For what, my brother, do you want my head?”
Wenceslaus asked, but was still beheaded!
But the evildoer did not escape God.
The soul of Saint Wenceslaus went
Before the Most-high God, the Just,
The One he had always adored,
And with Ludmilla, Wenceslaus now prays
For his people, that they be strengthened in faith.
Saint Wenceslaus, beautiful as an angel!