Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Spending Time in “Prison”, the “Desert”, the “Wilderness

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This is an excerpt of a letter sent to a young man in prison struggling with his appeal process to reduce his sentencing time in prison. But I thought I would add it to my blog and maybe encourage someone else although we may not be in prison… we all have our “prisons”, “deserts”, “wilderness” experiences.

These are thoughts after spending over 20 years in ministry and missions work about learning patience and truly waiting on God’s perfect timing. Some of the things I desired for a certain ministry or mission to take place often took years and I was often frustrated things didn’t move faster than I would have liked, but God’s timing is always perfect. I would often remind myself that it is not the end result but the process of growing in the journey closer to God. God is not so much concerned about what we do for Him as to how our relationship is growing with Him.

I am reminded about Moses spending 40 years in the desert tending sheep a time of preparation and drawing closer to God. Then there was David who killed Goliath and later became King, but he spent many years in the wilderness tending sheep and facing his own battles learning to trust God to direct his paths. Elijah spent 3 years in the wilderness in a time of drought being fed by ravens and living in a cave. There was also John the Baptist growing up from childhood in the desert until the time he was to reveal Christ to the world by baptism. Saul who met the Lord on the road to Damascus and became the Apostle Paul spent 14 years in the desert drawing close to God before going out and doing missionary work. The Apostle Paul spent many years in and out of prison and many of his letters or epistles as they are called in the Bible were written while he was in prison. While the Apostle Paul was in prison, his life so reflected Christ that many came to salvation because of his witness in prison – even the guards.

Outside of scriptures there are numerous great people used by God to do great and mighty things who spent years in a wilderness or desert of some sort. John Bunyan who wrote one of Christianity’s classic books, “Pilgrim’s Progress” wrote it while he was in prison for several years.

So let me encourage you with some scriptures from the Apostle Paul:

Philippians 2:5-10: ” Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Philippians 4:4-14 ” Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction.”

The final verses are ones out of 2 Corinthians 4 that I especially took heart in when in difficult times: “Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God… But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed… Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

I am always reminding myself that God’s most important work is in our hearts and not in our ministries or what we do for God. That we are to work out our salvation, meaning that we are to constantly work on our heart to become more like Christ in whatever situation we are in and trust God to work out His perfect timing and plans for our lives.

My other favorite verses are Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

And Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

So our life takes many turns and often not the way we planned but looking back it is God’s perfect plan and we can see his hand in all things. Even when we have made mistakes, done things we are not proud of, been disciplined by the hand of God (sometimes from the law, sometimes from man, but it is all from God), God is working on our character, our personality and our hearts to form us into the very likeness and image of Christ so that our light will shine without and shadows and the water that flows out of us will be living water purified and not stained.

So consider this time in “prison”, as a time in the “wilderness” or “desert”, a time where God has set you aside to draw you closer to Himself and to reveal Himself to you in a deeper way.

It is a time of examining our hearts and seeing how much we are truly willing to sacrifice and to “die to self” for the sake of the Gospel and for the sake of Christ.

We cannot see or make plans for the future, we have to make the most of today and make sure our hearts and minds are purified and holy before God so that if today or tonight he decided to take our life and call us home we are ready.

May you ponder on these rich nuggets of gold that I have learned from God in my own “wilderness” experiences. I wish you blessings from heaven dear brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Dialogue with a Messianic Jew

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I will comment below in between your comments and have italicized yours differentiate between mine.. Also when I refer to “Orthodox” I am referring to the Eastern Orthodox Christian Church and not any particular jurisdiction/diocese (i.e. Greek, Russian, etc…) and not the Catholic Church. When I discuss the early church teachings I am referring to the disciples and followers of Yeshua along with the 2nd generation of disciples and not something more modern… usually teachings that were established in the 1st through 3rd centuries and by the 7 ecumenical councils that the entire world of Christendom followed up until the split between Rome and the rest of the Christian world and before the dark ages.

 

Well, its like this …

 

At the time our Messiah was alive he came from a poor family, albeit he was of the line of King David ( on his mom’s side ) … this fulfilling the professy that he will be a son of David.  I don’t know the way it was practiced in the time of the Messiah, but now you have to attend a college called a Yeshiva in order to become a Rabbi.

 

Rabbi simply means teacher in hebrew.  This is why I find it so interesting that during his ministry these college trained Rabbis were calling him Rabbi. They clearly much have known his background.

 

Perhaps I am mistaken and he did got to Yeshiva, but either way, it doesn’t matter.

 

Re: Messiah as a rabbi – did he or did he not go to yeshiva? From the earliest writings of the disciples of the disciples & jewish historians, messiah did not go to school… The Bible mentions that many people were astonished at his wisdom (even as a child) having been a “carpenters son”. It is understood that the pharisees did not like Messiah, he was a threat to them, however, he was popular among the “regular folks”, so they used the term rabbi mostly out of respect to appease the people. Many times throughout scripture, it is mentioned the pharisees would do something so as not to make the people upset. At that time, the land of Israel was occupied with the Romans, there were many zeolots & rabble rousers and the area was a hotbed of trouble, so the pharisees & sadduccees wanted to keep the peace & the status quo.

 

Now, he hung out with the woman at the well alone, who was a samaratan and quite the harlot it appears.  First of all, this gives the appearance of impropriety, yet he did not care.  Yeshua saw the big picture.  Yet he hand picked her to tell her that even though she wasn’t Jewish the gift was still for the samaratins or the gentiles or anyone who could accept a message so simple a child could understand it.

 

Yes, Yeshua did see the big picture and this is even evident throughout the old testament, especially when it even comes to the lineage of Yeshua when you see Ruth the Moabite, and rahab a Canninite and a harlot. The Jewish people were set-apart to be God’s chosen people, but not to be exclusive but to share the message of the one true god and to bring others to the true faith of the one true god. Unfortunately, especially at the time of Yeshua, they had become isolationist or exclusionist. So Yeshua was restoring that mission because as part of the holy trinity, being the son of God, the God-man, from the time of our father Adam until the time of our father Abraham, God was reaching out to all men. Even at the time of Abraham, there was Melchizidek who was already worshipping the one true God. At the time of the holy prophet Moses, Moses’ father was a worshipper of the one true God and yet was not part of Israel & Moses married his daughter. Moses’ wife became a subject of controversy concerning his leadership and even Moses’ sister was upset, however God disciplined her by giving her leprosy & after Moses prayed, she was cleansed, verifying his authority from god. There was also the case of the holy prophet Elijah and the widow of Zarephath, and the holy prophet Elisha and Naaman, the commander of the king of Syria. The other example is the holy prophet Jonah sent to the wicked city of Nineveh. This is an example of the mindset that had set into the Jewish people & how God wanted them to be a “light to the world” & God’s desire that all men might be saved & come into relationship with him.

 

“But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.” (John 4:23-24)

 

These words were spoken by Jesus to the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well as He taught her the truth concerning worship to God. He taught that there would no longer be just one place to worship God (such as Mt. Gerizim or the temple at Jerusalem) but that from the “hour” of the establishment of the New Covenant, the true worshippers of God must worship in a definite way and according to a fixed pattern indicated by this statement of Jesus, “in spirit and in truth.”

 

Yes, Yeshua made it clear that worship was no longer going to be in one place… God had made it clear that he could meet with people anywhere at any time in any situation, one only needs to look at how Moses met God at the burning bush, Abraham, Elijah, and the children of Israel wandering through the desert having only a tent to worship God in. However, God did give the plans for the temple in Jerusalem, he did give the plans for the tent in the wilderness, he did specifically spell out how we were to worship him & if one looks at the layout of the tabernacle & the temple, with the coming of Yeshua… All of these things are symbols of the eternal and of Yeshua himself – for He is the way, the truth, the life. I could go on for hours about the symbolism in the temple and the comparisons to Yeshua being the fulfillment of all things… The bread, the lampstand, the alter, the washing basins, etc… However, Yeshua did say that he did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill it. Yeshua did attend and worship in the temple and made his trips to Jerusalem and so did his disciples. The pattern of the service, the articles and structures in the temples/churches are supposed to point us to Yeshua & not be objects of worship or “legalism” but to draw us closer to God, along with being spiritual beings we are also physically sensory beings with sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell. The incarnation of God, becoming man was more than just bringing us into right relationship with God, it was bringing the whole world including the physical world into perfect union with God, bringing back the Garden of Eden, the state of perfection. Yeshua was a man and was God in the flesh – Immanuel – God with us. In the traditional early christian church even with the first disciples of Yeshua, a pattern of worship was set based on the pattern set forth in the old testament, except that all would point to Christ and the new covenant. With the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, this sealed the new covenant that truly God not only was with us as Yeshua and God the Father, but now, for those who would follow Yeshua as their Messiah, then had the promise of the Holy Spirit coming to dwell with them, inside their spirit.

 

All this is to say that worshipping in “spirit & truth” means that we should have a right “spirit” independent of where we are – the orthodox teachings often say that you can be baptized orthodox and be in church and still not know God… And there are those outside of the church that can truly know God independently of the church – for God does not look at the outward man, but on the inward heart. This does not mean that the liturgical life & church are negated. In other words Yeshua did not negate the law and the way we worship, he wanted to expand it to beyond “legalism & trappings” and remind us to return to our “first love” worshipping Yeshua with our whole hearts and lives. Applying this to modern day living, too many christians live compartmentalized lives and church/christianity is in one compartment, and the rest of their lives is segregated into compartments as well. Yeshua wants us to be whole and every aspect of our lives he is to be Messiah & Lord over all with us being in complete union with him, so we too can say, I only do what the father says. I, of course, have a long way to go.

 

Yeshua also said to worship in “truth”, implying there is many falsehoods in the ways we worship. Again he did not come to destroy the law but to fulfill it & he himself said “I am the truth”. The orthodox teaching says, Yeshua is the truth, the scriptures & holy tradition are the truth about the truth (Yeshua), mans theology is the truth about the truth (scriptures), about the truth (Yeshua). Yeshua said that all scripture (meaning the old testament) was about him and pointed to him. Orthodox teaching says the old testament was about Yeshua, pointing to Yeshua. The Gospels are about Yeshua and his life, teachings, miracles, death & resurrection. The books of the Acts of the apostles and the epistles of the apostles are about Yeshua & the Holy Spirit establishing the “Church”, the “Body of Christ”, to be a witness to the entire world. One last thing on the temple in Jerusalem, Yeshua showed honor and respect to the temple calling it the house of God. God wanted that temple built. Yeshua twice in his ministry here on earth went in to cleanse the temple to reestablish it as a place of prayer and worship. He never said that the temple and the liturgical way of worship was wrong. And in the book of the Apocalypse/the Revelation of the Apostle John, the “new jerusalem” and the holy temple will come down once again as a place for Yeshua to once again be enthroned on the throne of David. Orthodox teaching is clear that all of our churches are reflections of this eternal truth & preach the message of the eternal kingdom, which was & is & is to come. Again, i could go on for hours on this subject as well. But I will stop at this point because i’ve probably gone on way too much already.

 

Leading children to the Messiah is a powerful thing.  I have had the honor of participating in that capacity at least once in my life. They are so humble and pure and I feel like a greazy rag sitting next to them while we discuss the path to the Holy City.

 

I totally am with you on this one!!! I feel the same way! It is such a humbling and honoring experience to lead one to the messiah. It is not something like a “badge to be worn” or another “notch” in someones belt on “how many people they got saved”, it is a very personal, very honoring, very humbling opportunity to be broken vessels used and poured out by god to bring someone into right relationship with the Messiah.

 

Our Messiah Yeshua, hung out with harlots and tax collectors and anyone, including nicodemeous ( a pharasee ) who was willing to hear his message.  He only wanted to communicate to people that we need to drop our perspective about everything and revise our thinking to constantly commune with God in prayer.  Beyond that he wanted to shun things that was distance yourself from God.  Plain and simple.  So easy a child could understand.

 

Man has made up most of the rest of the trappings of our religion and liturgy.

 

Anything can cause us to distance ourselves from God, even Abraham was tested with Issac, the promised child to make sure that God was first in all things. Much of what we see today in christianity is people putting “God in a box”, making a “golden image” of what they think God is. Yeshua is always wanting us to break out of the “box” – after all God is holy, God is beyond our comprehension (simply because he is God) and if we could know everything or understand everything about God, then he wouldn’t be God… And yet at the same time, even a child can understand, because most importantly along with God being truth, spirit, life, he is love. But without truth, even love can become distorted.

 

Yeshua did hang out with harlots, tax collectors, burly fishermen, ordinary people, low lifes, but he never lowered his godliness, his holiness… He just made himself reachable even in his death reaching out to the thief, the centurion, and renting the temple veil in two, signifying that we now have access through Yeshua to holiness and God himself.

 

“Nicodemus (Greek: Νικόδημος) was a Pharisee and a member of the Sanhedrin, who, according to the Gospel of John, showed favour to Jesus.” — wikipedia

 

Yes, even someone like Nicodemus, a pharisee, became a follower of Yeshua as well as Joseph of Arimethea (a very wealthy person)… Both later became witnesses of Yeshua to the uttermost parts of the earth, suffering much for their beliefs in yeshua!

 

God bless you dear brother. I hope I have not offended you, please forgive me if I did. I hope I did not overwhelm you either. I am a history fanatic and especially when it comes to church history, biblical history, etc… I have studied this I think most of my entire life, including as a child, I was the “sunday school” child who questioned everything & fortunately my parents if they didn’t have an answer, would send me off to the library or buy me books to find the answers. My whole family were nominal christians and did not have a true faith, but over the years, things have drastically changed. My sister now teaches at a christian college & my father is now a pastor. And if you had known my family… You would say this is a huge change! Yeshua Messiah Immanuel truly has come and visited myself and my family even though we were afar off, living in slime pits, believing in off the wall stuff, he wooed us, drew us, loved us – in spite of our whoring, idolatrous ways and brought us into his sheepfold.

 

Blessings,

Kathy

Blessings of Orthodoxy

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At times, the Orthodox way of life seems so difficult. The Orthodox Church even gets the blame for the path being so difficult and we might even be tempted to question why the Church demands so much.

 

I have to remember a few basic reality checks about God. God is holy and God is perfect. The scriptures teach us that God says, “Be ye holy, even as I am holy.” Moreover, “be ye perfect, even as your heavenly Father is perfect.” God’s standard is holiness and perfection and sinless. His standard is not because He is a “perfectionist” or a hard taskmaster. The reality is that God is Holy, God is perfect, and God is sinless and therefore because of Who He is, anything imperfect, impure, and with sin cannot be in the presence of God. This is because of the nature of God’s holiness is such that whatever is impure cannot abide, survive or live in God’s presence.

 

This is where the blessings and gifts of the Orthodox Church come to our aid. The Orthodox way of life and its sacraments help us to be holy, be perfect, and be without sin so we can be one with our Creator and be in His presence. It is through the way and life of the Orthodox Church that helps us to strive towards this perfect, pure, and sinless state of being, becoming like God, made in His image, and be with God for eternity. Without this perfection, holiness, and sinlessness, we are cast into outer darkness and torment eternally separated from all that is good, holy, perfect, and all that is God.

 

When we fail to achieve this perfection, holiness, when we fall short, and sin, once again there are the blessings and gifts of the Orthodox Church coming to our aid. The Orthodox way of life and its sacraments bring down grace and strength for the healing of both our soul and our body. The Orthodox way of life and its sacraments restore us to communion with God and His Holy Church.

 

Before joining the Orthodox Church as a Protestant, I would make the decisions on when and what to pray, when and how to fast, when and how to worship. These decisions were based on what I felt or believed or wanted to do at a particular moment or season in my life.

 

If I didn’t go to church, didn’t pray, didn’t fast, or when I would get caught up in sin, I could justify and rationalize it away with bumper sticker slogans like, “I’m not perfect, just forgiven.” I could also find the particular preacher or teacher that could give me bible verses to soothe my conscious with phrases like, “I don’t need to go to church to worship God, and I can worship Him anywhere.” I did not have to confess my sins to anyone only to God, He will forgive me for everything, and I do not have to be accountable to anyone. I could have communion whenever I wanted and however I wanted. This kind of faith is all about how “I” want to do things or “feel led” to do things.

 

The Orthodox Church gives us a different way of life to help us humble ourselves and let go of how “I” want to do or “feel led” to do things.

 

The cycle of prayers of when I am supposed to pray, help me to remember God throughout the entire day. All of the Church’s prayers I find prayers for everything in life. I do not have to search and find the right “formula” to get God to answer my prayers. The prayers of the Church remind me of who I am and who God is and show me that I am in need of mercy.

 

The Orthodox Church tells me when to fast, when NOT to fast, how to fast and for what reasons to fast. Fasting roots out the sin in me, draws me closer to God, helps me to remember to not be driven by my feelings or desires, which go up and down and fluctuate every moment.

 

The Orthodox Church gives me the gift of the sacrament of confession to help me further root out the sins in my life, to be accountable, to truly repent and become more like God, living a more perfect life. Through confession, I am able to get closer to God, because less of sin dwells in me and I find true healing, freedom and forgiveness.

 

The Orthodox Church gives me the sacraments of Communion, the sacraments of Holy Unction, the gifts of Holy Oil, Holy Water, Holy Antidoran, and Artos. Through these sacraments and gifts, I find healing for both soul and body. I receive grace and strength for all the times I have failed or am in need of God. I receive Christ God Himself living and dwelling and abiding in me and I am transformed into more of His likeness.

 

Therefore, the Orthodox Church and its sacraments help us to live and give us strength to live a holy, perfect, sinless life and the Orthodox Church and its sacraments give us grace for when we fail to obtain healing for both our body and soul.

Goals & Dreams

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Do I have goals and dreams for my life? Dreams and goals are two different things. Goals are something I can realistically work towards. Dreams are what I would like to have happen, but may or may not happen. Sometimes dreams and goals don’t meet on the same path. Goals change. Dreams change.

 

My goal is to be in the center of God’s will; to become like Christ as much as is possible during my lifetime; to be content, in abasement or abundance, prosperity or poverty, storms or calm weather, persecution or peace. I want to be “always in heaven” even if my circumstances are in the “midst of hell”. I want to have peace passing all understanding, joy overflowing in the midst of chaos, destruction, loss, grief and death. This is my goal permeating everything. I fail too many times, but keep “pressing on toward the mark…” eradicating sin in my life and preparing for heaven, so my crown may be worthy to lay at His throne. I want to hear, “well done thou good and faithful servant, enter ye into the joy of the Lord.” I want to know the Kingdom of God in my heart, here on earth as in heaven. I want to be set free from sin now and not on my death bed. I want to know the depths of God’s love, grace, mercy so when people see me, they see Christ himself. I have a very long way to go.

 

This goal can be reached in simple things… getting up every day, making my bed, take care of my animals, my home, my chores; meeting with God before I start my day, throughout the day, calling on Him every step of the way, closing the day, with God, confessing my sins, asking for His grace to start again every day. It is through the mundane everyday tasks, through obedience to God’s will already known in His scriptures, to purge the “leaven” out of my life; to be vigilant over my thoughts, my words, my actions, my appetites (whatever those appetites may be), so I might not be a “slave” to anyone or anything but Christ.

 

Six years ago, becoming disabled, unable to work and feeling extreme loss was a severe blow. I mourned and cried out to God the night before I put my dog down, “God, you have taken my brother, my mother, my grandmother, my job, my ministry, my car, my finances, my health… must you take my dog also?” I will never forget that night as I felt helpless, broken, stripped and empty. It was the turning point in my life. I grieved all the losses and began to heal.  I saw a need to change in my personality and life. I was a purpose driven, goal driven person. My life had meaning if I had a goal, if I had a purpose, something of worth or meaning. Now my life had no goals, no purpose, no meaning. Wasn’t I supposed to be “fulfilling the great commission”? All those years of “preaching” about the “sanctity of human life” – we have worth even as a quadriplegic, an elderly person, in a nursing home, as an unborn, took a whole different meaning when it came to me. I had no energy, no health, unable to do anything. I was brought very low, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I questioned my value, my worth, the purpose of my life. I had heard, “The whole purpose of man is to worship God and enjoy Him forever”. But what did this truly mean?

 

For now my health is improving… what does the future hold… I am not sure, my doctors are not sure. I’m taking it one day at a time. I sent out letters to various groups to pursue being a speaker, worship leader or business consultant; except for a few responses the doors closed for now.  I threw my “talents” out and asked God what did He want me to do? I’m a web designer, I help small businesses. I’m also a dog trainer. I’ve seen God’s hand pointing in this direction for this “season”. I enjoy what I do, I’m helping others, and I’m “planting seeds” for God in the people I meet. Is this the plan for the rest of my life? I have no idea… it is where God has me in this season of my life.

 

I still have dreams… of being an author, a speaker, a worship leader; someone who would inspire others to follow Jesus and draw closer to Him; someone challenging people to live pure and give their lives to something worth living and dying for. I think of worship songs that should be sung to draw people into deeper fellowship with God. I think of traveling and being part of reconciliation, healing and revival in other lands. How, when, where, if? Only God knows.

 

I am reaching my ultimate goal. I can look around me and instead of looking at the past, the deaths and losses, I can be so very thankful. I have a nice home, wonderful friends and pets. I still have family full of love. I have found my relationship with God deepened far more than I could imagine. I’ve found once again my worth is based on “whose” I am, a child of God, created in His image, being transformed into His likeness. Along the way, my dreams may fit, they may not, my heart is at peace. I am blessed.

 

We all need to hear God’s heart and know we are loved and accepted. We must humbly come before God and surrender all our goals, dreams, and all our lives. God is our purpose, our goal and the answer to all our dreams.